Excerpt from Chap. 20 – New ZealandGate & Upper Slut-Lower Butt

She can’t believe it, as she watches her bus leave without her. She thinks, “Am I in a bad dream? This can’t be really happening? Someone musta slipped me some shrooms when I wasn’t looking. This can’t be for real.”

The following day they leave. The bus stops for the girls in town to get some stamps for their postcards. Ryleigh jumps off too. She doesn’t plan to take long. But the next thing she knows, she hears her bus leaving, and she is not on it!

She cannot believe her eyes. It goes by as if in slow motion. “I sit in the front seat, for crying out loud! How can they not notice me missing?! Are they already drinking? Is this another rat-fuck?”, her head goes into a launch-sequence. (10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…).

She yells out, “Oh shit, there goes my team! Now I’m really going to get in trouble with that damn #KangarooCourt thing! I might as well finance that fund!”

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Excerpt from Chap. 19 – #Ménage a Moi

“Wow, this touring thing! Is it always like this? No wonder everyone has so much fun traveling like a sports star”, Ryleigh marvels, looking out the coach panoramic window, as she sips her Double Brown #beer someone has handed her. This is what it feels like to be Bo Jackson.

She wishes she was born a boy, as she secretly knows she would have been a talented highly-paid U.S. sports star of some sort; that only men seem to attain.

With only one chromosome short of qualification, at least she would have fun at her paid job, while maybe making a few Million. That’s not a bad gig.

Instead of doing it as a hobby, as a female. Whoopie…

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Excerpt from Chap. 18 – Popcorntown North

“Ohhh, you beauty, this is magic!…this is brilliant!” as they drool over it, gobbling it up, licking the butter off their fingers. They cannot stuff it into their faces fast enough.

Amie and Ryleigh make some more fresh popcorn dripping of fresh butter tonight for their billet hosts and the Jones’ family purely salivate over it. They can’t get it in their mouths fast enough!

The only kind of popcorn they have in #NZ is the stale, pre-made kind in a bag. So one can imagine the difference. Ryleigh brought a lot, so they make a couple of batches.

Meanwhile, Streak is at her billets, wow-ing them with buttered grill-cheese sandwiches like she’s some kind of gourmet chef. They tell her, “This is ace! This is blinding!”.

It’s comical to the Americans. Where’s the #vegemite? Eeesh…

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Excerpt from Chapter 17 – “NZed the 2nd Time Around – Sowing Wild Oats”

“I will drink no #wine before it’s tiiime. And I do believe it’s a fine tiiiiime to drink some wiiine”, Booh sings out in her Texan southern drawl.  Her beautiful beaming smile broad.

It’s now the following year. After their illustrious premier trip the year before, every U.S. ladies team wants to go #DownUnder now.  A ladies team in Orange County went to #NZ after them.

All kinds of things have happened this year, and Ryleigh’s life has done a 90 degree right-turn. It may be 10 years too late, but she’s grown up almost overnight…

…Ryleigh is on a high. Literally.  From pain killers.  During the game, she played her best once again.  But she hates to wear a mouth-guard.  She feels they restrict her capacity to breath, not to mention how gorilla-fugly they make one look…

Ahhh #vanity.

Earlier in today’s #rugby game against Belmont Shore, at one point when converging on the ball against the opponent, Ryleigh and her own teammate got there at the same time…

…They were like two trains coming around a blind corner and colliding into each other, because someone forgot to switch the rails. It is that sudden.

Blood was everywhere; nerve endings severed. Injury time was called, a dressing applied by Doc, and Ryleigh’s mouth bandaged with tape all the way around her head to hold the bandage on.  No complaints.

And off she went, looking like a crazed mummy, back into the game, with a new fervor like none other.

She probably plays one of her best offensive games yet. #MVP of the Game.

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Excerpt from Chapter 11 – “Wellington’s Honey of a Try”

Excerpt from Chapter 11 – “#Wellington’s Honey of a Try”:

They are greeted by their #Auckland travel agent Mick, but only to
welcome them and see them to their nice B&B hotel to rest up.
The stay in Auckland is purely a tourist visit.

Some of the gung-ho girls have an impromptu training practice in the car
park. It is true athletic addiction.

Curious on-lookers walking by literally stop and stare. “Are
those?…WOMEN… passing a rugby ball?”

The sun is peeking through the clouds, but it’s still moist out. Streak gets
back, to a sigh of relief by Ryleigh. She watches Streak jump out of the
compact convertible, “Gosh, she musta froze her tushie off!”, shaking
her head with wonder.

Streak hops out of the Triumph, grabs her bag, gives Nathan a quick peck goodbye, steps back, blowing a kiss with her palm pressed to her lips. She then proceeds to continue kissing different spots traveling up her own arm, for a laugh.

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Excerpt from Chapter 9 – “Mile High Clubbers”

Excerpt from Chapter 9 – “Mile High Clubbers”:

Streak is hanging out with Amie and tells her, “He’s a bit skinny,
don’t you think?” trying to get Amie uninterested.

Amie tells Streak, “Take a chill-pill. I’m not interested. He looks gay to
me anyway,” joking.

Streak wants to move in unobstructed. The girls seem to have an unspoken
understanding to not step on each other’s toes when a covert action
hook-up is in progress.

Distracted, Amie just nods. Amie Annimal is having too much fun
drinking and partying with the rest of the #Surfers, and flirting with a few
#Aussie rugby players stopping in #NewZealand on their way home.

Amie Annimal and Deanne have jumped up to the front with the flight attendants and are mimicking the “safety-check” instructions. They are both a bit high on schrooms.  The flight attendants don’t mind and go along with the silliness.

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Excerpt from Chapter 8 – “Plunder Down Under”

Gullible’s Travels: Raw & Uncut by J. Lee Webster

Excerpt from Chapter 8 – “Plunder Down Under”:

A travel agent asks Ryleigh, “Would you like to go to #New Zealand?”

“Does Michael Jackson like to stop when he gets enough?!”, she answers.

She can’t believe this psychic coincidence. The #Japan trip could never
materialize, so the agent throws this fast ball out there, which truthfully,
kind of surprises her.

They invite any other players who want to…to come along. A couple
girls from back East, and some of the #SDSU girls join them. The #Surfers
will become bombed with fame and many will go briefly straight, from
the male attention. Ryleigh will start to wake up.

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Excerpt Chap. 43 – Back in the USA

….She gets home to the warm nose greeting of gazillions of wet kisses from her loving, faithful dogs. “You guys are the bestest doggies ever! How’s my little punkin-pusses?” she says in baby-talk, as she kisses and hugs them back.

Their tails are wagging so hard, that their backsides are tailfishing Ryleigh, almost knocking her down, as they whimper and cry their hello’s.

She spends a day unpacking and catching up on her emails and appointments coming up. She hasn’t seen her longtime girlfriend, Streak, in months and months! Not since the last local, ladies rugby tourney Surfers Alumni party earlier this year!

Her old team, the Surfers are still in force today. But instead of having many teams locally to play, the league has dwindled a bit…..

….Streak is coming to town, and Ryleigh has invited her over for a visit. She’s excited! She can’t wait for the laughter she knows will come, and catching up. She hopes she can stay a couple of days. Streak is still a wild-child, even today.

She’s also still a brick-hoowse. When that song comes on by Commodores, the men in the room have told her that the song is describing her. She smiles and takes it as a compliment, as well she should. It applies to Streak too.

She also notes that she has the roofer coming tomorrow for a patch job. She completely forgot about that appointment that she made a month ago! “Ugh, I can’t cancel it again!”, she laments.

It’s a warm evening. Ryleigh pours a glass of wine, and softly turns on the entertainment sound system. She looks around the room of her conservative home, and sees that empty bottle of Marque Vue on the shelf, that she has since turned into a vase.

She smiles at it and releases a poignant sigh. Ah, the good times…it seems like it was not long ago. It’s funny how it’s all come full circle. I do miss the original fun though. I wish I knew then what I know now, though.

She reaches into her cupboard and pulls out her old picture albums for Streak, and there, staring at her with one eye, and a broken earring…is Mrs. Bottle.

She gently pulls her out and brushes her off. She fixes her hair, and sets her in the middle of the table, smiling. “You look like you’ve had a few too many, and a bad night! Stop snickering at me!”, Ryleigh laughs back at her….

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Excerpt Chap. 42 – Finding Bigfoot

….Ryleigh is finally ready to settle down; but she never experiences one-on-one bliss with any companion again. Her life gets back to comfortable; tired of the meat-market of different men.

She has learned that most men just wanted to use her and throw her away; so instead she threw them away. She’s done with the youthful sexperiments. It’s time to grow up and be monogamous again.

She is resigned to the fact that she’ll never be with her one true love, Gabe. She has come to realize that there are plenty of nice candidates to love, and who will love her back.

There just will never be that passion she once had, and constantly looks for. So she is resigned and content to settle. She must, to live on. Maybe in my next lifetime.

Plenty of good relationships don’t have passion. It’s not like she has given up. She just knows the odds. But she misses it. She can’t help it.

Eventually the Fab Four, and many others retire from playing women’s rugby. Some play up to 8-10 years. But Ryleigh outlasted most of them with 15 years of solid play, and then refereeing.

That’s quite an accomplishment for a prissy female, who wears mascara and lipstick. The sport is too hard on them, to last as long as some of their male counterparts….

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Excerpt Chap. 41 continued…Porko Vallarta Amigas

….Going to #CaboSanLucas is one of Ryleigh’s most coveted places to hit. In the 90s, it is still quaint and unblemished.

On a trip to Cabo, while sitting on the beach in front of a hotel restaurant, sipping a large birdbath two-for-one margarita that #TheOffice happy hour is so infamous for, basking in the warm sun…two gentlemen from the next table over, strike up a conversation with Streak and Ryleigh.

One is older in his late 50s at least, and he is bragging about his yacht out in the bay. The other gentleman is his Captain.

The Captain is more their age. Ryleigh has her target-lock radar on El Capitan. Streak is using all her wiles on the money — Richie Rich.

Streak uses her masterful skills to chat up the owner of the yacht, and they soon become hypnotized by her.

The owner wastes no time boasting about his boat, falling into her supple hands like unwary prey. Ryleigh chortles, watching the show.

“That’s my 80 foot yacht right there”, as he raises an arm and points over the turquoise blue water to a magnificent ship….

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